People Express Affection in Language of Their own Character
Today I would like to talk about expressing affection of an individual mind. As we know already from the previous writing, every human is possessing one of the 13 different ways of thinking from the REI theory. The way of thinking represents his very own character, which is established at the time of puberty and stays for the rest of his life, the same. We have already learned that there are four main groups of thinking. The first group is the group of people who primarily think with Reason and their Emotion and Instinct is in the subordinate role. The second group is primarily thinking with Emotion and their Instinct and Reason is in a subordinate role. The third group are people primairly thinking with Instinct and by those people is Emotion and Reason in a subordinate role. The last group are people who are having two minds equally developed and the third one is in the background. The character represents all of the three minds in one of their constellation, resulting together. See the picture:
The group that thinks with Emotion consist out of 75% (approximately) men, and 25% (approximately) women. The Instincts group however consists right out of the opposite; 75% (approximately) women and 25% (approximately) men. Why am I writing approximately? Because if you have a group of 100 men, you could find between them approximately 25 those who think like women (Instinct). And in the group of 100 women, you can find approximately 25 those who think like men (Emotion). The Reason is divided between both groups equally. The number can change of course if we make tests in different nations where is one mind more spread than others, but in basic, those numbers are approximate scores.
The second thing — that are also men behaving like women and women like men — is only in interest to our mind in the lead of our society. That is Reason, which one tries to transform men into women and women into men. This is the mechanism that allows him, to get rid of all of the remaining Emotion values. Emotion is the mind that values ruled before Reason. But this is the story for some subsequent topic.
We have to be aware that we are divided into characters, not gender. There will always be men who will think and behave like women, and on the opposite side, there will always be women who think and behave like men. How else would we have women in sport and men in cooking ;)?
When I write Reason, or Reason thinking or “think with Reason” I mean the people from the above-mentioned first group. You must be clear that every human no matter which language he/she speaks or what nationality he/she is, possesses all the same three processors. That goes for all of the people on this planet. The same goes for the Emotion and Instinct group. When I write the world, I mean the world of this person and how he/she perceive the world around himself/herself; meaning how is his/her own character describing him/her the world around, regarding self-acceptance or nonacceptance.
Let me get straight to the topic now. Every mind has his own way of expressing his affection to a loved one. But between all three minds come often to the misunderstanding about the same thing. All three can express, with the same thing, their affection to the other world (human with a different character), in a completely different way. In doing so, it comes to misunderstanding, which is not the result of expectation but a simple misunderstanding in expressing. When it goes for expressing the affection, all three are having, each one, his very own way. Those from you who understand the REI theory very well would also know that there will be 3 main categories. For each mind his own.
Reason
Reason is expressing his affection in the first place with words, favors, and gifts when the gifts have material meaning. Reason is very concrete with his expression and uses a very specific definition for a different type of affection. What Reason wants to say, he says. But we have to distinguish because he alone does not know the feelings, and therefore sometimes he describes also what he perceives also from the other two minds. The one who thinks with Reason is for others very cold, but as written before, he is not having only Reason, but also Emotion and Instinct. Reason also does not need to repeat the same message, because for him “once said — it is until further arranged”. Because Reason is the only one who perceives the time as a timeline, he does not need repeating himself in a short time again, as we can see this often with Emotion and Instinct.
Emotion
Emotion expresses his affection with looks, touch, and physical closeness. This mind does not need words, for him, it is enough one look from which he concluded everything that is for him important. Emotion is very accurate and he recognizes the signals very correctly. The problem occurs when he is trying to give the conscious meaning to those “looks” because this includes Reason. Emotion does not interpret the meanings wrong, but the problem is that we do not understand how our Emotion has understood something. The second affection that comes from Emotion is touching and getting close to the others, which is the background meaning of instigating sexual intercourse. Emotion can also express his affection with the gifts, but those are having more symbolic meaning and not as much material (Reasons way). Some of the gifts are having also two meanings and as expressing affection those are especially desirable. For example, valuable Jewelry, which with his esthetic role expresses a symbol of decorating, of something beautiful, and also has a second meaning with material value: we have to spend some of our property.
Instinct
Instinct expresses his affection with attention, care, and trust. For him, it is affection even time, which is spent with the loved one or the time which is indirectly intended for a loved one. Instinct in his concept of thinking already places others, before herself, but when he wants to show affection to others, he does that with sacrifice.
If we compare all of the minds, we see that between their expression of affection are so big differences, that the first one often does not recognize the message from the second one. In the relationships very often this leads to dissatisfaction because for the individual this means a lack of proof that they are loved (let me remind you that those who does not accept himself — meaning they do not accept their house and world — are also craving more toward these ways of “love”).
Don’t forget that people who fall in love or are having a crush, are more likely to express affection to each other. But after that crush passes, the expression can get very rare or even none. This all can we thank the modern society in which we cannot experience true love anymore. For true love, we have to combine two worlds of two people who (self) accept herself in the first place and completely accept each other in the second place. Then expressions will stay or they will both understand that this is something that is not necessary to experience true love.
